I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
My balls are so social today.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
