Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
