guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
