Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
