At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
