mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I've blown a few things in my day
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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