A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
