You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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