the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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