Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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