Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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