I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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