just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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