yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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