She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
