Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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