I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
