We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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