Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
