Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
We need to rekindle our bromance
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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