I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
