I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
