hell yes lets make some ravioli
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
