I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
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