fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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