he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
