If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
