I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
A bitchslap is in order.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
