Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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