problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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