And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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