12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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