Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
