who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
