No awkward lesbian experiences without me
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
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