he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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