During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
