Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Randomize
