She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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