Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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