hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
