Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
