I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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