Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
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