SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
