NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
