THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
