Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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