So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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