Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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