is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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